|Poland, W.S. (1992). An Analyst's Slip of the Tongue. Psychoanal Q., 61:85-87.|
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(1992). Psychoanalytic Quarterly, 61:85-87
An Analyst's Slip of the Tongue
She was known for her limitless kindness, a woman to whom everyone turned because of her readiness to help, never to refuse. When she came for analysis, she knew how different were her public softness and her private sense of pervasive but shapeless discontent. Quite sophisticated, she spoke from the start of an intellectual that her tics must be connected to repressed rage. Indeed, with her determined commitment to analyzing, that intellectual slowly and with difficulty moved to an ever-expanding emotional .
In over expressing any of her impulses toward , she suffered with an underlying that to have something for herself was to betray others. It was as if there were in the world a finite amount of whatever was good, as if her having more meant someone else's having less . Her inhibited anger toward others became the leitmotiv of our work.
As this theme was repeatedly exposed and explored, first outside the and then within, I felt the occasion to intepret, as I had before, what was becoming increasingly clear to both of us. "Here again," I said, "when you have an urge to do it your own way, even start to feel having your own idea, a mind of your own, you feel you are betraying the other person and killing yourself, I mean, the other person."
It was my slip that substituted herself for the other as the of murderous impulses. We had long ago known that of herself was the result of her pattern, but we had not before directly focused on -punishing quality as a derivative wish in its own right. When I made my slip, I had not been consciously of turned against herself.
Hearing my slip, I recognized the vague background of unspoken
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