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Goldner, V. (2004). Review Essay: Attachment and Eros: Opposed or Synergistic?. Psychoanal. Dial., 14(3):381-396.

(2004). Psychoanalytic Dialogues, 14(3):381-396

Review Essay: Attachment and Eros: Opposed or Synergistic?

Review by:
Virginia Goldner, Ph.D.

Can Love Last? The Fate of Romance Over Time by Stephen A. Mitchell (New York, NY: W.W. Norton, 2002, 224 pp.)

In Can Love Last, Stephen Mitchell deconstructed the resistances—personal, metapsychological, and cultural—to sustaining vibrant and intimate sexual relationships over the long haul. This discussion is concerned with the way in which Mitchell's emphasis on risk shortchanged the importance of safety in long-term romantic passion. By showing how security and dependency needs can fuel rather than dampen eros, the author proposes an alternative thesis.

Where they love, they cannot desire; where they desire, they cannot love.

—Sigmund Freud

It is helpful to postulate the existence for the … child of two mothers—shall I call them the object-mother and the environment-mother? The mother as object … who may satisfy the [child's] urgent needs (id relation) and the mother … who actively provides care (ego relation) … are vastly different for the [baby].

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