Customer Service | Help | FAQ | PEP-Easy | Report a Data Error | About
:
Login
Tip: To use the Information icon…

PEP-Web Tip of the Day

The Information icon (an i in a circle) will give you valuable information about PEP Web data and features. You can find it besides a PEP Web feature and the author’s name in every journal article. Simply move the mouse pointer over the icon and click on it for the information to appear.

For the complete list of tips, see PEP-Web Tips on the PEP-Web support page.

Spring, C. (2009). Twenty Helpful Things My Therapists Said. Att: New Dir. in Psychother. Relat. Psychoanal., 3(3):344-352.
   

(2009). Attachment: New Directions in Psychotherapy and Relational Psychoanalysis, 3(3):344-352

Twenty Helpful Things My Therapists Said

Carolyn Spring

1. I like Pineapple

I don't suppose it is unusual to like pineapple, but here was a person who liked pineapple and blueberries, who ate breakfast, who was real: alive and different and existing in her own right, someone who ate pineapple, not just someone who wanted to hurt me. There was a delectable simplicity about liking pineapple, and that throwaway comment crashed against months of avoidant haranguing and fearful apprehension of this person who otherwise had seemed unknowably untrusting of me. Now, in three words, I felt trusted - trusted to know that she likes pineapple. And the tiny enormity of that pineapple, exposed in a languid disclosure, made us realize how little we knew of normal, of favourite fruit and breakfasts without dread and a sore throat.

2. I Don't Think Sex is Yuk

Possibly said in defeat, not knowing how to counter indignant, adolescent repulsion, but a breakthrough none the less, peeling away layer upon layer of darkest assumption that sex is yuk, that all sex is yuk, that everyone finds sex yuk. I don't think sex is yuk - a dazzling possibility, shocking, promising, hopeful. Someone brave enough, convinced enough, at last to say: there is good sex, sex that is not perverted or disgusting or harmful or coercive or humiliating or sickening or abusive. And so, a summary of the wrongness of what happened to us and a validation of our clenched-tight-knowing that it was wrong, that we hated it, that we were right to hate it, and relief that there is something else, something better, something unpolluted and clean and wholesome and lovely; a validation that the ache within us for something good, something not-yuk, is OK.

[This is a summary or excerpt from the full text of the book or article. The full text of the document is available to subscribers.]

Copyright © 2019, Psychoanalytic Electronic Publishing, ISSN 2472-6982 Customer Service | Help | FAQ | Download PEP Bibliography | Report a Data Error | About

WARNING! This text is printed for personal use. It is copyright to the journal in which it originally appeared. It is illegal to redistribute it in any form.