Customer Service | Help | FAQ | PEP-Easy | Report a Data Error | About
Tip: To find a specific quote…

PEP-Web Tip of the Day

Trying to find a specific quote? Go to the Search section, and write it using quotation marks in “Search for Words or Phrases in Context.”

For the complete list of tips, see PEP-Web Tips on the PEP-Web support page.

Ruiz, P. (2001). An Evolved Male. Gender and Psychoanalysis, 6(2):169-181.

(2001). Gender and Psychoanalysis, 6(2):169-181

An Evolved Male

Patrick Ruiz

Patrick Ruiz is a 45-year-old who did not begin his transition from female to male until the age of 42. Raised in a Hispanic family in Southern California and the Southwest, he now lives as a single parent in Boston where he is developing his own businesses. I have left Patrick's autobiographical statements in questionnaire form [EDITOR's NOTE].

1.   How did you see your gender identity as a child compared to your peers, and what were the early signs of gender dysphoria?

When I was a child, I played dress-up, but I used my dad's clothes (and only when my parents were away). I walked around wearing dad's big coats and shoes, rolling up the cuffs on his pants so that they wouldn't drag on the floor. I fantasized about wearing wingtipped shoes. Sometimes when I was in the bathroom getting ready for my nightly shower, I would lock the door and lather my face with his shaving cream. I removed the blade from the razor, and shaved the cream off, using dad's techniques (i.e., stretching the face to get the upper lip, etc.). I would also use the shaving cream to simulate what I would look like if I had facial hair. All of these activities would make me feel good at the time, but guilty afterwards because I knew that the adults would disapprove of my behavior.

One incident I remember that involved gender was during Christmas. I had received two gifts from my parents: a racecar from my dad, and a walking doll from my mother. The car was a steel Indy style racer, painted white with red and blue trim. It was about 12 inches long, and the head and shoulders of the driver protruded from the cockpit.

[This is a summary or excerpt from the full text of the book or article. The full text of the document is available to subscribers.]

Copyright © 2019, Psychoanalytic Electronic Publishing, ISSN 2472-6982 Customer Service | Help | FAQ | Download PEP Bibliography | Report a Data Error | About

WARNING! This text is printed for personal use. It is copyright to the journal in which it originally appeared. It is illegal to redistribute it in any form.